“I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.” —Henry David Thoreau

Hands on Heart

It was the final day of an eight day stretch that I had spent alone—largely in solitude—with my 4 and 2 year old sons, Jonah and Adrian. As we sat together on our living room floor that last morning, memories of popsicle painted faces and sand covered floor boards—of transferring slumbering toddlers to cozy beds at the end of long and salty days—left us all content in only the way that happy summer exhaustion can. My strategy had been to treat our time together like a treasured vacation. We had explored tide pools aplenty and ridden rickety carousels and filled the tub at the end of the day with sand and suds. My boys were well worn-out and when I asked Jonah if he would like to go to the beach or have a “home day” that morning, he seemed almost wistful in his reply that he would like to stay at home—this coming from a boy who would eagerly make an impromptu plane trip at bedtime in a snowstorm. This is how the three of us found ourselves late that morning—still in our pajamas—sprawled out on the living room floor putting together a wooden necklace. Jonah and Adrian doled out the pieces. Adrian would have circles. For Jonah, squares.  And for Mommy, stars and ovals. Jonah decided on the pattern. First, Adrian would put on his pieces. I watched as Adrian slid the shoelace style string through the holes in his multi-color circles, Jonah encouraging him and commenting on his, “nimble fingers.” Next it was Jonah’s turn. He was more independent and quick in his contribution. I took my turn next—slowly—noticing the energy of our work together. Noticing the peace. There was a synergy to our interactions that had come alive in the long hours we had spent together in that week unencumbered by plans or appointments or obligations to keep. We worked this way for a while. We chatted about whose turn it was and such. Then Adrian stood up—a little abruptly—and began backing away from Jonah and I slightly. I didn’t have time to wonder what he was up to when he suddenly turned to Jonah and I both and closing his eyes—just a little bit—and with a tiny, little bow he said to us, “Namaste.” In our living room surrounded by wooden blocks and of his own volition, Adrian presented himself to us—as if on a stage—and shared this powerful word in what could only be described as a reverent and loving voice. My heart was marked in that moment, my breath taken away. Jonah and I quickly joined in responding back to him with the same word and with our own little bows. Jonah and I then looked at each other in amazement and giggling a little and with wide eyes we celebrated what Adrian knew that we did not know that he knew. As I write this, I can hardly believe that this scene actually unfolded, but it did and I know that in that moment Adrian was sharing with us that he felt the presence of love between us all. He was letting us know that he felt seen and that he could see us too. There are so many moments that I treasure and hope to always remember from these precious years with my boys. This moment will surely stand among the most dear.

 

2 thoughts on ““I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.” —Henry David Thoreau

  1. Lissa

    What a lovely moment Meghan. Thank you for sharing it in such a simple and sincere way. I hope you and your family have many more lovely Maine days this summer! Hope to run into you again next time you are in Brooklyn.

    Reply

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